Cat 3 Racing is the Toughest

That's right, racing as a Cat 3 - or in my case, dominating as a Cat 3 - is the hardest thing to do in all of bicycle racing.

A quick lesson for the non-cyclist on Racing Categories. When you begin racing, you start out as a weak little Category 5, or Cat 5. I prefer calling it the Crash 5's. You wouldn't believe the amount of 'squirrily birds' they have in those groups. Once you do ten races, you can move up to a Category 4. Unless you are a Nancy-ass sandbagger, then you stay as a Cat 5. Why would you do this??? I guess some people like gay medals to hang on their walls.

So Cat 4's is a step up from the Cat 5's, but this does not mean a thing. All it means is the person likes to race, not that they are any good at it. Anybody can be a Cat 4, or Cat 5.

To become a Cat 3 - hereafter referred to as 'the Ultimate Cat' - you must earn points from the races you compete in. You must have 20 points in a 12 month span in order to accomplish this. The only point value I know is for first place, because that was where you could always find me.

So you get you 20 points and have shown you have some talent, so now you're in 'the Ulitmate Cat'.

Now that the briefing for the uneducated is finished, I can discuss why Cat 3 racing is the toughest...

First off, the bike handling of most Cat 3's has not improved since the time they were a Cat 5. At the same time, leg strength and power has generally increased among these same people which means everyone goes faster. That, combined no bike handling skills, results in carnage waiting to happen

Or picture it like this: You go out on St. Patty's day, consume massive amounts of Irish Car Bombs so you've lost all control over your body and it's functions. You then have a choice of hopping into a souped up Corvette capable of 0-60 in 3.5 seconds, or throwing your leg over a 1946 Vespa that lacks the horsepower the get you over that big neighborhood speed bump.

In the Corvette, you're lucky to make it out of there alive. You wake up the next morning and are just counting your blessing that you made it home in one piece. You know you escaped a wreck that could have cost you your life. This is like Cat 3 racing.

On the mighty Vespa, you're just lucky if you make it home before daylight due to the slow speeds that you putter along at. You know full well that the only damage that's going to be caused in a wreck might be a little skin off the body. This is Cat 5 racing.

It is for this reason that during Cat 3 races I just stay off the front, constantly attacking my opponents to wear down their legs. I slowly turn those 09 Corvette legs into the wet noodle that is the 46 Vespa. By the time the bell lap rings I have turned what was once the Ulitmate Cat into nothing more than a bunch of spandex-wearing sissy-boys.

As far as Cat 1's and 2's are concerned, their bike handling does not allow for the difficulty that is involved in Cat 3 racing, thus making Cat 3's - the Ulitmate Cat.

Well that is all for now, I'm off to get my bike fit perfectly to my body. I feel as though my seat is 1 nanometer too low, thus impeding my ability to maximze my already superiour power on a bike. Have a good one!