Friday, August 22, 2008

My how time flies when you're kicking ass and taking names. The life of the Cat 3 Phenom has been nothing but great the past few months. I totally forgot that I even had a blog. I guess that's what happens when you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to cycling.


Short recap:
I was unfortunately forced to get a job due to the sole reason that race payouts for the 'Ultimate Cat' are despicable. I'm going to spend this off season working on petitions to combine the payouts for P/1/2 races and Cat 4 races, and give all of that race money to the Cat 3 race. We deserve it. The rest of those pansy boys can fight it out for the meager pickin's that they usually award us amazing 3's.



Be sure to sign the petitions when they come your way.



Some things I learned racing this year in the Ultimate Cat:



1. I really am a cycling phenom.



2. Yellow line rule is made for people who suck at life



3. Drinking 8 or more beers the night before a race is not only great race preparation, but in fact improves results. Need more details, just ask.



4. You do not have to train 16+ hours a week to be a Cat 3 Phenom, in fact, 8 hours is probably too much



Not sure if you're a phenom or not??? Here is an easy test:



First, buy a cycling license and spend the next two months upgrading to the Ultimate Cat.



Next, only train for 7 hours a week. This includes race time.



Finally, if you are able to crush/destroy/obliterate all those you race against, CONGRATULATIONS, you too are a cycling phenom.



Something else I have learned...Never pay attention to anything you read on the numerous cycling forums. They are filled with fat, d-bags who couldn't ride their way out of a paper bag. Have a race coming up and want some advice, shout me a holla (that means message me for you uncool old bastards)! I'll let you know exactly what you need to do to dominate those sissies toeing the line next to you.



I'll be posting again shortly, so check back.

1 comment:

bikerider061964 said...

This post is way overdue - I've been following the training status of many of the aforementioned douchbags on the un-named cycling forum and these people all had me believing I needed to train 12+ hours a week to get anywhere. Some of these guys already have 7000+ miles logged this year, if you don't believe, just ask them, they're more than happy to post a topic on their total miles for the year so everyone can see just how great they are.
At least we have you to rely on for some sound training advice, letting everyone know great results can be achieved in 7 hours a week, and carbo loading on beers is a necessity - BRILLIANT!
Hopefully others from that forum will read this blog and learn the errors of their ways.
Bravo!