Thursday, April 24, 2008

Yellow line rule - A rule for the Weak

Talk about BS. The yellow line rule is more gay than Richard Simmons with a rainbow tattoo on his lower back at a pride march in San Francisco.

They claim it's for the safety of the racers. What a load of crap (cycling term for something being a lie). I'll tell you what it is...it's a rule made up by the guys who can only produce 4 watts of power, but have great bike handling skills. You've seen them, they bob and weave through the pack effortlessly, not because they are strong riders, but because they are like magic little lepricauns.

They get to the front of the pack, but because they have cotton candy legs the pace slows and the peleton bunches up. Improving ones position has now become impossible. The cluster ____ of racers and bikes has now put up an impenetrable wall. Strong riders are caught out and the race becomes unbelievably boring.

You inch towards the yellow line, hoping that up ahead someone might ramp up the pace and string out the field. You hope that the cotton candy racers crash themselves out, but this never occurs because they handle their bikes too well. You hope they make the same mistake I did, forget to eat, and suffer the dreaded bonk. Anything that will let you move up in the pack. Afterall, the front should only be a place for the strong men.

But no, none of this happens because of the gay yellow line rule. The race finish nears, and you are stuck in rush-hour traffic about 40 guys back, forced to sprint for 47th place. Meanwhile, those weaklings that were at the front get passed by the few rows behind them during the sprint, and they finish out of the top 10.

Everyone knows they're going to finish out of the top ten because they can only produce 4 watts.

I think that one of two things should happen:

1. You must either produce documentation of a power test along with your liscense at registration. Those cotton-candy people who can only produce 4 watts or less receive a different color number, we'll say pink. They are not allowed in the front half of the pack in an "Ultimate Cat" race. Or they have the option to race with the Cat 4 women.

-or-

2. They eliminate the yellow line rule, and allow the strong to move up in the pack. Racers are smart enough to move over if there is traffic coming, so the safety excuse is out the window.

Let me know which one you vote for...

I'm off to accent my bike with a little bit more red. It makes me faster.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

You know, back in my racing days, we called Cat 3's "candy asses," so calling it the "ultimate cat" is pretty stupid.

Additionally, I'd love to see the crashes caused by a full two lanes of riders trying to compress back into one lane on a blind curve in the mountains--or even on a short blind rise.

Thus far, you've done little to prove you're anything but a troll. Or maybe you're just retarded.

Unknown said...

Somebody's clever.

Unknown said...

Soooo...you have bad bike handling skills?